Archive for June, 2011

By: Bonnie Arnwine

On Father’s day I was reading the Bible. I came across Genesis 29:32-35. It’s a passage from the story of Leah a woman who’s husband didn’t love her. Her husband really loved her sister Rachel, but he was tricked into marrying her and after one week of marriage her husband married her sister too.

Genesis 29:32-35:

Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah.

I was struck by this passage for a couple of reasons, first of all thank God I’m not Leah! I can’t imagine the heart ache of sharing a husband AND not being the favorite. Had I been in her situation I would have begged for change too. I would have looked at every wonderful thing happening and been sure that God was fixing my situation and making it better…

but some things can’t be fixed.

Some things can’t be fixed. Does that statement bother you the way it bothers me? I know God is all powerful, I know He can do anything, I know with determination and God’s help I can accomplish great things. But I have found that no matter how many band-aids, prayers or hours I put into some things – they just can’t be fixed because we live in a broken world.

However, some things can change and what I noticed in this passage was that Leah’s perspective changed. She moved from “now my husband will love me” to “I will praise the God who loves me.” Subtle but huge. Did she still wish her husband loved her? I’m gonna take a guess and say yes. Was this wish her central focus? After the fourth son, no.

When we’re caught up in what we want fixed we miss out on what we could already have. I can think of nothing better than enjoying a loving God who is close to us, interested in the daily stuff of our lives, who works things out for our good in the end, who gives us peace, guidance and the unconditional love all of us crave (including Leah)!

Some things can’t be fixed, but God is waiting to walk with us if we’ll change our perspective.

By: Sharon Daugherty

“Graduation, I will be free” was shouted out in my house several times this month.  Only to be followed with, “when can we go visit my teachers? They told me I could come!”  Fifteen years in Special Education has left its’ mark on my son and assisted me in my mothering skills for a boy born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  I began to reflect on the number of people that have taken part in our lives. My life has been framed  by Doctors, IEP’s, Teachers, Occupational Therapist and Physical Therapist. All of these people have taken part in his health issues and education process. There have been over 500!

From the very beginning there was no muscle tone to contain the drool, no ability to sit, stand or run. Toilet paper rolls on his elbows to remind him that they did not have to curl up all the time. Speech therapist to teach us sign language to use until the words came at 4yrs. These people never complained about the constant runny nose, or drool. He was able to learn from the best the skills he needed to develop future skills. I know at the time, I felt as if I had failed. He was too thin, he couldn’t do what 98% of other children would ‘normally do” at the appropriate age. How do you not take it personally when your child, adopted or not is in the 2% range? One of the Doctors helped me through this by affirming to me that my job was to ‘ be there and love.’

My first IEP  experience was when he was 5. Their goals : Blow his nose, hold a pencil, hold scissors and tie his shoes. These goals I asked to be changed when he was 8. They were not attainable. From then on I made sure that our goals were not too ‘lofty’. Not that I did not want them to be attained, but I wanted to work on what would make him feel successful. Finally Velcro tennis shoes came out and I knew he was home free! At 18, tying is still an impossible task.

I would love to send a note to  all of the hands that have been on my sons’ life. I have a happy and healthy 180 pound son that loves his family, his life and feels like playing golf a few days a week and taking care of an acre of land is a great life. He would want me to add that he goes out with a girl on Fridays’ with her mom. He learned compassion when a classmate had brain surgery and was embarrassed wearing a helmet, so Daniel wore his bike helmet for a month. He learned tolerance as he experienced the patience others showed him as he daily worked on holding a pencil and allowing it to move.  He learned how to carry on a conversation from the many friends that have surrounded him in his classes.

His greatest ability is his memory. He can name just about every teacher and helper he has had over the last 10 years. He can tell you about their families as well. He prays for them by name! He loves people. So while I realize the system is not perfect, it is filled with individuals that use their abilities to enhance the abilities of others. I think that is awesome!