Caring for an Autistic Child

By: Angela Nelson

Labeling and Requesting are the most basic of all full sentence activities, and provide a basis for your student to understand that communication requires more than single word utterances. The following list of activities offers just a few examples of the many lessons you can use to help build full sentences and a more complete system of communication with your child.

Adjectives

You can use picture cards to discuss adjectives or descriptive words. Some adjectives are clear from the pictures, such as “the apple is round” or “the frog is green.” Other adjectives draw more on a child’s real-world experience, like “the bunny is soft” or “the banana is sweet.” To teach adjectives, you can start with a receptive task. Place cards in front of your child and ask them to “find something green” or “point to something that is round.” This receptive language activity will allow your student to hear some of the adjectives you use, before trying to come up with their own descriptive words when you start to build sentences with them.

To transition this activity to expressive language, you can hold up a picture and ask your student, “What color is the frog?” You will need to prompt your student at first either verbally or using a cue card method as described above.

Wh question

Use a picture of a common item to teach adjectives and WH questions.

Picture cards provide a great opportunity to practice “Wh” questions. You can show your student a picture and ask him or her to answer questions such as “What color is the frog?” “Where would you find a plate?”  “When do you use a pillow?” “Why do you use soap?”

To start, some of these questions will fall easily out of the adjectives lessons you have already practiced, such as “What color is it?” Other questions will provide a new challenge for your student.

Tell me about

Use pictures with which your student is already familiar. The best pictures will be the ones you have practiced extensively on the Adjectives and Wh Questions. Show your student a picture and ask him or her to tell you about the item in the picture.

The first things that your student should be able to tell you about the pictures are the responses that they learned in Adjectives and Wh Questions. The difference with this drill is that you student has to generate the content themselves rather than respond to your question. When you ask your student “What color is it?” they know color is the relevant detail. In the Tell Me About lesson, students have to decide for themselves that color is a relevant thing to tell you about the picture.

You can start with scripted responses, using the picture to cue your student. Then you can progress to more creative responses that might not be so obvious from the picture. For example, show your student a picture of a duck. Ask your student, “Can you tell me about a duck?” By looking at the picture, your student can get some basic answers. “A Duck has feathers.” “A duck has webbed feet.” “A duck has a bill.” As your student becomes more familiar with this activity, you may progress to things about a duck that are not readily apparent from the picture. “A duck can swim.’ “A duck says ‘quack quack,’” “A duck lays eggs.”

The Tell Me about Lesson also gives you the opportunity to increase the length of your student’s verbal activity. Start by requiring the student to tell you only one detail about the picture. Then move up to two, or three or more details. Of course, if you ask your student to tell you three things about the picture, you may have difficulty if they haven’t mastered counting skills. Here’s a trick: hand your student three blocks and have them toss a block into a bucket with every detail they tell you. This is a great way to help your student count their answers, and it makes it fun for them!

Storytelling

The next step in this language building series is Storytelling. Again, this activity builds on the previous lessons. Show your student a familiar picture card and ask your student to “Tell you a story” about the picture. The first elements of the story will likely be familiar from the Tell Me About lesson. For example:

“Tell me a story about a duck.”

“There was a duck, it had webbed feet, feathers, and a bill. The duck went for a swim in the pond, then it laid some eggs and said ‘quack quack’”

As your student’s language skills grow, so will the creativity of the stories!

Generalization

The setting in which you begin to teach language skills is very structured and formal. However these new skills will become more valuable as they generalize across time and setting, and with various communication partners. To help promote generalization, you can start by moving your therapy session to different places – starting even with different rooms in the house.

Next, it is important that the skills your child has learned in the formal therapy session be practiced throughout other aspects of the child’s life, such as during family time and at school. Make sure to bring the cards (or have second sets) to dinner, to the store, to school, etc. Whenever you communicate with your child, require the same full sentences that are expected during therapy. Stop and take the time to use the prompt cards if necessary.

Finally, keep good records and good communication channels open with all of the other professionals and family members in your child’s life. You should send a notebook back and forth to school, or perhaps start an electronic communication log to make sure teachers are requiring the same sentences, using the same words, and bringing in the same prompts as you are at home and in therapy. Consistency is a major key to building and generalizing successful language skills to help your child interact with the world around them.

Angela Nelson received her BA and JD from UCLA where she studied and practiced behavior psychology under Dr. Ivar Lovaas. As Founder and CEO of Stages Learning Materials, Angela has created autism and special needs curriculum products since 1997.

By: Bonnie Arnwine

Halloween is coming and for most children both on and off the autism spectrum this is one of the most highly anticipated days of the year.  Here are a few simple tips to help your family have a Happy Halloween.

Trick or Treating Tips

• Trick or treating is exciting no kid wants to stop getting free candy.  Create a schedule ahead of time for your autistic child.  Decide how long you will go trick or treating and when you will stop.
• Have something positive to go home to, perhaps a favorite snack or surprise gift to celebrate the end of the night.
• If you have a child with special diet concerns or severe behavioral issues talk to your neighbors ahead of time.  You will be surprised how often neighbors want to help.  Give them the treats your child can eat ahead of time so that your child can go trick or treating.  Let them know about any sensory issues or concerns.

Prepare for a Meltdown
Remember exciting events can easily cause an autistic child to become over whelmed.  This is sad for the parents and for the child so be prepared for it.  Talk to your child ahead of time and see if they have any ideas on how to calm down. Here are a few ideas:

• As soon as you see that your child needs to take a break give them one.
• Keep with you a favorite calming item, like a vibrating pillow, small massager or toy.
• Take along a piece of hard candy to suck on while watching a liquid timer.
• Maybe wear noise reduction ear muffs to minimize unexpected noises from other children.

All About the Pumpkin
Carving a pumpkin can be a fun Halloween activity.  For children with fine motor or sensory issues here are a few alternatives to using a knife:

• Poke holes in the pumpkin and let your child decorate it using Mr. Potato Head pieces.  This is fun and can allow your child to change the way the pumpkin looks several times leading up to Halloween.
• Paint your pumpkin.  For children with fine motor challenges you can draw a mouth, nose and eyes and let your child paint on the details.
• Decorate your pumpkin by gluing on pieces of felt, construction paper, feathers, cotton balls or whatever else you and your child can think of.

The Costume
For those children who have a favorite character they enjoy dressing up as, it’s easy let them wear their favorite costume.  For other children you may need to take into account sensory issues.  Remember the face is a very sensitive area of our body.  Many children with sensory challenges can not tolerate face paint, wigs or masks.  Remember to cut off tags and be sure to let your child feel the material and approve it before purchasing a costume.

Simple Sensory Friendly Costume Ideas

• A soft t-shirt with the words: “This is my costume”
• Let your child dress up as a “Smartie Pants” using a favorite pair of pants with “Smarties” candies taped all over them.
• Dog Catcher – Let your child wear their favorite shirt with a name tag that says “Dog Catcher” then place a small stuffed dog with his head peeking out of their trick or treat bag.

Prepare for the Night
Schedules can reduce anxiety and help your child transition through the evening.  Decide when the child will get dressed, when they will eat dinner, when they will go to a party or trick or treat.  Write out the schedule and keep it handy so that your child can refer to it as needed.

Create a simple social script your child can follow.  It can be as simple as this:

• Ring the doorbell.
• Say Trick or Treat, or hold up your Trick or Treat sign.
• Let the neighbor put candy in your bag.
• Say or sign “thank you”.

Know and follow the safety rules.
Create a few safety rules that are important for your child and review them ahead of time before the big night.  Some safety rules in our house are:

• Hold hands while crossing the street.
• No running in your costume.
• Always wear your glow necklace.
• No candy until we go home.

Bonnie Arnwine is the founder of National Autism Resources, an author and national speaker.

By: Angela Nelson

We talked in the last post about building vocabulary, now it’s time to teach your child with autism how to speak in simple sentences. Last post we talked about the importance of using a set of realistic photos as visual prompts to help students learn various nouns, occupations, and emotions. This stage of language development can feel repetitive and basic, focusing only on learning single-word responses. However, when a child with autism begins to gain expressive language skills, it’s an exciting time to watch language emerge and leads the way for speaking simple sentences.

Labeling Sentences

After a child can say several single words when presented with a picture, the next step is to take these single word answers and turn them into complete sentences.

To develop sentences the key is to start simple. As a first step teach the child to use an article along with the word. For example, when showing the child a picture card move toward an answer of “an apple” or “a car.” Once the child has mastered this step it’s time to teach them “It is an apple” or “It is a car.”

As you begin to teach your child to use  full sentences, you will need to use prompts in the beginning. The most common method is verbal modeling.  But it is important to fade the verbal prompt as soon as possible. To help your child answer in full sentences without using a verbal prompt, you can make some simple visual cues.

Teaching simple sentences with the Language Builder Cards

Written cue cards are a great method to remind your student to use full sentences. For example, if you show your child a picture of a car, and ask “What is it?” your child is likely to answer “car.” To prompt your child to use the article “a” with the word car, you can start by putting a cue card in front of the picture with the word “a” on it. Have your child touch each card (the “a” card and then the picture card) as they say the words “a car.” The next step would be to add cue cards for “It is a car.” When your child starts to grasp the concept of speaking multi-word sentences, you can begin to fade the visual cue card prompts.

Requesting Sentences

Another important type of sentence that your child will need to learn to use is a Requesting Sentence. When your child learns to use communication to make requests and get their needs met, it will reduce their frustration level, which will in turn reduce the frequency of tantrums and outbursts.

To teach this skill begin by sorting through your picture cards to find pictures of items your child likes and that you have available to give to them. Food items are often the most successful to start with. For example: Cheese, Raisins, Juice, Popcorn, and Apple. Stick a magnet to the back of each picture and place the pictures on the refrigerator. Write the word “I” on one index card and the word “want” on another and place those on the refrigerator also. When you know your child wants a specific food (as most parents often do), pull the corresponding picture down into the “I want” sentence. Use the visual cues as a prompt to help your child remember to use the full sentence to request their desired food. As always, you should fade the prompts as your student begins to master this full sentence activity

Using cue cards to teach simple sentences.

A Note on Using Cue Cards to Prompt

You may think: Why am I using written words to prompt my child? He can’t speak well, so what makes anyone think he can read?

The cards are not meant for your child to read. They are merely place markers. It makes as much sense to use the words as anything else. However, you could also use something as simple and nondescript such as blocks or blank cards for your child to touch as they say the words. The idea is to give your child a visual reminder to speak the extra words. In fact there are schools of thought suggesting that if you tie spoken words to physical activity that it creates more neural pathways for the words to attach to. Regardless, you can choose to use the word cards, or to use a more neutral object. Decide what works best for your child.

Angela Nelson received her BA and JD from UCLA where she studied and practiced behavior psychology under Dr. Ivar Lovaas. As Founder and CEO of Stages Learning Materials, Angela has created autism and special needs curriculum products since 1997.

By Angela Nelson

Building Expressive Vocabulary
Expressive language is the step where your child learns to actually say words out loud. All of the tasks we talked about in Part 1 come into play when building your child’s expressive vocabulary. Picture cards are a useful tool again, because it just isn’t feasible to bring every object directly to your child. We certainly want them to learn the words bus and airplane, but it’s difficult to get those items into your living room!

The basic idea for building expressive vocabulary using picture cards is just to hold the card up and ask your child “what is it?” The intricacy comes in knowing how to prompt your child and how to fade that prompt. We talked in Part 1 about the importance of your child being able to imitate the words that you say. Imitation is the basis for the prompts you will use to build your child’s expressive vocabulary.

The first several times you ask your child the name of a new picture, you will likely have to model the word for him or her. For example, you ask your child “What is it?” If you do not get a response, you say “apple.” Ideally your child repeats the word “apple.” After a few tries, you can shorten your prompt to “app….” And then to “aaaa…….” And then perhaps to just opening your mouth as if to say “aaaa…” but not making a sound.

Building Vocabulary Using the Language Builder Card Set

A Comprehensive Picture Card Library
It is a good idea to have a large selection of pictures ready to go when you start to teach the lessons we just described. Here are a few tips to help you choose or take appropriate pictures:

• Start with words that are familiar to your child. Words like apple, cup and cookies may be better than saxophone or stethoscope.
• Start with pictures on a plain white, or a distraction free background.
• Make sure to have duplicates available for the matching tasks when you first start out.
• Consider taking multiple pictures of the same item (6 different apples for example) to help your child generalize their newly learned words.
• As your child becomes more comfortable learning new words move to more natural settings for your pictures.
• Have a broad range of pictures, across multiple categories, ready for when your child is ready to move forward!
• If you take the pictures yourself, consider having them laminated for durability.

If you would like to purchase a set of photo cards to meet the needs of your new language program we recommend the  350-Card Set of photo flash cards called the Language Builder Picture Card Set, developed by Stages Learning Materials which is specifically tailored to meet the needs of an early language vocabulary building program.  This set is currently on sale at the National Autism Resources autism store.

Angela Nelson received her BA and JD from UCLA where she studied and practiced behavior psychology under Dr. Ivar Lovaas. As Founder and CEO of Stages Learning Materials, Angela has created autism and special needs curriculum products since 1997.

By: Angela Nelson

Language development varies from child to child, and there are wide ranges of expected “normal” language development in young children. If you have concerns about your child’s language development, you should discuss this with your pediatrician.

By the age of two a child should be able to:

• Follow simple commands or instructions
• Point to an object or picture when it is named for him or her
• Recognize names of familiar objects, body parts and familiar faces
• Repeat words spoken by others
• Use simple phrases and 2 – 4 word sentences by 18 – 24 months

As we all know, there is no “typical” child with autism. Children on the Autism Spectrum may meet some of these objectives, all of these objectives, or none of these objectives. The goal is to identify your child’s specific language deficits (the areas you see them falling behind) and takes steps to help them catch up.

The first stages of language development,  involve listening to words, imitating words, and building a basic vocabulary. In your child’s education program you may have heard professionals use terms like Receptive Language, Echolalia, Modeling, Matching, or Expressive Language. Don’t let these terms intimidate you. Really, they just mean… listening to words, imitating words, and building a basic vocabulary.

Encouraging Emerging Language Skills

A basic step in typical language development is imitation. Many parents are surprised to learn that a parent imitating their child is almost as important as the child imitating the parent! When a 12 month old child looks at his or her mother and says “mamamama,” the mother almost instinctively replies back, “that’s right ‘mama.’” This feedback reinforces the child’s vocalization and encourages them to keep on chatting. Although children with autism may have delayed onset of this type of behavior, or may have some setbacks along the way; it is important to remember to continue to imitate vocalizations with your child to encourage verbal behavior.

Imitation will also provide the first steps in the formation of words for your child. This time I mean your child imitating you! While you are hoping to hear your child imitating full words, remember, this starts with imitating vowels, consonants and syllables. If you say “aaaaa” and your child responds back with “aaaaa,” this is a cause for celebration. You are one step closer to your child saying “ma” or  “apple” than you were before they could (or would) imitate your vocalization. Eventually, modeling words will become the way you build your child’s expressive vocabulary!

Language Builder Picture Cards: Identical Matching

Developmental Psychologist, Jean Piaget, observed that a child first becomes aware of a concept and then acquires the words to convey that concept. Think about this for a moment: a child has to know that an apple is a distinct and separate item, before they know they should give it a name. They have to realize that the apple is different than, say, a cup. This is where matching comes in.

To teach this concept you can use pictures of objects.  Place two pictures on the table in front of your child, one picture of an apple, and the other of a cup (or some non-apple picture). Hand your child an identical picture of an apple. Ask your child to “match” the apples, or to “put with same.”

When your child can consistently match the two cards, regardless of the position of the cards, they likely understand that the apple is a distinct object. Now we are one step closer to giving that object a name!

Building Receptive Vocabulary

Receptive language refers to the thought process involved in hearing, processing and comprehending spoken language. When we mentioned above that a two year old child should be able to follow simple commands, point to objects when they are named, and recognize names of familiar objects; these objectives were examples of receptive language skills.

There are a number of ways to help build your child’s receptive vocabulary. Using photo cards, like the Language Builder Picture Cards,  is one basic and concrete vocabulary building tool that you can do at home. Place pictures of common objects on the table in front of your child. Ask your child to “touch the cookies” or “give me the hat.” When your child can follow the command and consistently select the requested picture, you have added a new word to their receptive vocabulary.

It is likely that your child will need help selecting the correct card… especially the first few times you try this task. Here is a trick to help make picking the right word easier. Start with just one card on the table and increase the number of pictures slowly. For example, if you are trying to teach the word cookies

1. Start with just the picture of the cookies on the table.
2. After your child has learned to touch the cookies picture on request, add a blank card to the table. Ask your child to touch the cookies picture several more times, rotating the position of the two cards each time.
3. Then, add a second picture to the table, and a third, and a fourth.
4. Once your child can select the cookies picture each time, introduce new words using the same method!

Language Builder Picture Cards: Receptive Labeling Can Progress from One Card to Multiple Cards

Angela Nelson received her BA and JD from UCLA where she studied and practiced behavior psychology under Dr. Ivar Lovaas. As Founder and CEO of Stages Learning Materials, Angela has created autism and special needs curriculum products since 1997.

By: Bonnie Arnwine

I’ll start off by saying this is a strange topic for our blog, but after talking with several people in our community I’ve been asked to write about what recently happened to our family.  By now most of us have heard about the tragic crash at the Reno Air Races.  Unfortunately, something went terribly wrong and a piece of the plane’s tail came off before the plane crashed.  My son photographed the part coming off the tail.  It’s an amazing shot, it’s amazing that he took the picture…

Reno Air Race Part Coming off the Tail Before the Crash

Developing Talents

It’s often recommended that you work with a person on the autism spectrum to develop their talents and passions.  My son is incredibly detail oriented, he’s in advanced placement art classes, loves photography and loves aviation.   At five he could tell the difference between an F-14 and an F16, which by the way I still can’t.  So we bought him photography equipment and my husband takes him to airshows to take pictures.  It’s opened up a new community for our son and our family.  Online and at shows Geoffrey has received friendly advice from photographers, met other aviation enthusiasts and is slowly building a social circle.

Life is often Bittersweet

Back to the Reno Airshow, he took the picture, but it’s been bittersweet.  Geoffrey  loves aviation and saw many other people who love aviation die that day.  He feels terrible about all the people that were hurt and he’s haunted by the images of death, pain and suffering that he saw.  As we’ve been talking, he’s shared that he feels physically sick about the pain everyone must be feeling.

At the same time his picture has been shown on CNN, NBC and ABC and that’s good, right?  It is good and we’re glad that his photograph may play a part in explaining what happened that day.  He’s given a copy to the NTSB and we hope it will help their investigation.  The photograph has also shown the world that Geoffrey is on his way to becoming a very good photographer, and his father and I am glad for that.

This is the way life seems to go for us, it’s full of ups and downs, wonderful moments and deep heartache.   This is the way life goes for all of us, people both on and off the spectrum.  Please keep the Reno Air Race victims in your prayers.  We are holding on to Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. “

By: Sharon Daugherty

“Graduation, I will be free” was shouted out in my house several times this month.  Only to be followed with, “when can we go visit my teachers? They told me I could come!”  Fifteen years in Special Education has left its’ mark on my son and assisted me in my mothering skills for a boy born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  I began to reflect on the number of people that have taken part in our lives. My life has been framed  by Doctors, IEP’s, Teachers, Occupational Therapist and Physical Therapist. All of these people have taken part in his health issues and education process. There have been over 500!

From the very beginning there was no muscle tone to contain the drool, no ability to sit, stand or run. Toilet paper rolls on his elbows to remind him that they did not have to curl up all the time. Speech therapist to teach us sign language to use until the words came at 4yrs. These people never complained about the constant runny nose, or drool. He was able to learn from the best the skills he needed to develop future skills. I know at the time, I felt as if I had failed. He was too thin, he couldn’t do what 98% of other children would ‘normally do” at the appropriate age. How do you not take it personally when your child, adopted or not is in the 2% range? One of the Doctors helped me through this by affirming to me that my job was to ‘ be there and love.’

My first IEP  experience was when he was 5. Their goals : Blow his nose, hold a pencil, hold scissors and tie his shoes. These goals I asked to be changed when he was 8. They were not attainable. From then on I made sure that our goals were not too ‘lofty’. Not that I did not want them to be attained, but I wanted to work on what would make him feel successful. Finally Velcro tennis shoes came out and I knew he was home free! At 18, tying is still an impossible task.

I would love to send a note to  all of the hands that have been on my sons’ life. I have a happy and healthy 180 pound son that loves his family, his life and feels like playing golf a few days a week and taking care of an acre of land is a great life. He would want me to add that he goes out with a girl on Fridays’ with her mom. He learned compassion when a classmate had brain surgery and was embarrassed wearing a helmet, so Daniel wore his bike helmet for a month. He learned tolerance as he experienced the patience others showed him as he daily worked on holding a pencil and allowing it to move.  He learned how to carry on a conversation from the many friends that have surrounded him in his classes.

His greatest ability is his memory. He can name just about every teacher and helper he has had over the last 10 years. He can tell you about their families as well. He prays for them by name! He loves people. So while I realize the system is not perfect, it is filled with individuals that use their abilities to enhance the abilities of others. I think that is awesome!

By: Bonnie Arnwine

Did you know the fear of loss is big business? We see it every day with phrases like: limited time offer, while supplies last, this weekend only. Books have been written to help sales people develop and manipulate the fear of loss.  Unfortunately, this particular sales tactic can lead parents of autistic children to spend thousands of dollars impulsively on therapies, supplements and items that are neither therapeutic nor helpful for their child.

The fear of loss for parents of autistic children works on many levels. First of all, we know that the brain plasticity of young children with autism allows them to make large gains in a short amount of time. Many parents fear their child not get the proper therapies to take full advantage of this window. This can cause them to spend large amounts of money on any and every kind of therapy just in case it’s helpful.

The fear of loss also plays into the dreams that parents had for their children. All of us imagine what our lives will be like, all of us have unspoken or even subconscious ideas of how things should be. Often when a family receives a diagnosis of autism there is a tremendous sense of loss for the dream they had for their child. Many go through a very real and deep sense of grieving. These parents are very vulnerable and can spend incredible amounts of money impulsively trying to pursue their lost dream.

I myself have had to struggle with the fear of loss and wasted money on things I was promised would help my child. Many of these things only emptied my bank account and then when our therapists recommended additional items and treatments we were unable to afford them. I wish our story was unique, but I frequently talk to parents who find themselves in the same situation.  Taking care of a special needs child is expensive, and most families are constantly working with limited funds.

If you are considering a new therapy do your research.  Is it supported by any credible research, or University? Talk to your doctor or therapists.  Ask them what they know about the therapy.  If they are unfamiliar with the therapy ask them to do some research for you.  Most professionals have a vested interest in protecting their patients and some therapies are not only useless but could be harmful.

Researchers are learning more about autism every day.  However, there is no quick fix or cure as of yet. Believe me when a cure is found everyone will know about it.  In the meantime remember this: slow and steady wins the race.

Bonnie Arnwine is an author, speaker and the founder of National Autism Resources

By: Kimberly L. Gallo

“He’s acting weird,” words of concern from me to my husband. “Maybe he has autism,” I blurted out of nowhere. Autism… What is autism? Why did I just say that word out loud to my husband? Especially since I have no idea what autism is?

This was the start of our journey; the word came flying out of my mouth and I knew it must have come out for a reason. It was then that I looked up the word “autism” online. The year was 2003. After finding a list of signs of autism on my computer screen, and seeing that our son had all five signs, I was convinced.

The same week of his diagnosis, our younger son was born. It didn’t take long to see that our new baby was more interested in the letters on my shirt than looking into my eyes. Here we go again.

I craved eye contact and smiles from my sons. It didn’t seem fair that I had to work so hard for what other parents got naturally from their children. So I set out to make joint attention my goal. I had my face in my children’s faces as much as I possibly could. I remember one time singing “Row, row, row your boat” to my 4 month old son. I was smiling and singing while he cried and tried to get away from me. I had the advantage though, he was not mobile yet.

Being a constant cheerleader was the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding thing at the same time. When I got a shared moment of happiness, I felt like I was on top of the world.

Knowing how hard it is to create that bond between parent and child with autism, and knowing how vitally important the bond is, I was spurred into action to create a product that would make interacting with ASD kids something to look forward to. I wanted to make products for parents and educators that could bring out the laughter and the eye contact in a way that was fun for everyone. My husband and I created “Playtime with Zeebu” for this purpose.

First and foremost, Zeebu games, DVD, books, and puppets are tools that help parents and educators connect with their ASD children. The DVD and all of the activity books come with user guides and games that help parents facilitate joint attention. The Zebu puppet acts as a bridge from the video to the real world enticing children with ASD to want to play along with their parents and care givers. In the back of each of our activity books there is a section called “Playing Together Games”. This section has my favorite face to face games; games that my children still ask to play today.

My journey is not over; my boys are now 8 and 9 years old. Like most parents of children with autism, I am constantly looking for a new key that will unlock the part of their brain that autism has closed off. I take it as a challenge; I enjoy the hunt for the key because when I find the key that fits, when that door is opened, it will give me more energy and a purpose to tackle the next locked door.

Birthdays can be a challenge for a child with autism. A birthday party is outside of their routine. There can be lots of extra stimulation. The excitement and enjoyment of the party can quickly escalate to a place where the child feels overwhelmed.  Fortunately, there are a few tried-and-true things you can do to prepare your child for their birthday party.

Work with the child to come up with a birthday party schedule. This schedule can be a series of pictures, or words that explains the order of events for the party. Post this in a centralized location so that the child can place a check next to each party activity or line through at the end of the activity. Knowing what will happen ahead of time will lessen anxiety and give the child a sense of control. It’s important to allow your child to participate in creating the schedule. By helping to create the schedule the child buys into the schedule.

Try to limit extra stimulation. Consider limiting the number of people you invite to the party. Think about decorations in this situation less may be more.  If a balloon pops will that hurt your child’s ears? If so don’t have balloons, or securely place them high enough so that nobody can touch them.  Think about sensory stimulation your child enjoys, will soft music playing in the background provide extra stimulation or would it be calming?

Prepare for a meltdown or overstimulation ahead of time.  Have a plan set up ahead of time so that your child can go to a quiet place if they feel overstimulated. Oftentimes a short 15 min. break can allow a child to regroup and rejoin a party. If your child needs a break, what can the rest of the guests do? Can they have a coloring contest that your child can judge when they are done with the break? Can they play an outside rowdy game that your child would not enjoy? Talk with your child about the plan so that they feel comfortable with the solution ahead of time.

Practice social skills ahead of time. Create simple social stories that will help your child prepare for situations they will face at the party. For example:

Receiving a Gift

Sometimes people give me a gift. When people give me a gift, I will try to say, “thank you.”

Saying “thank you” is polite.

People like to hear “thank you” after they give someone a gift.  (The New Social Story Book by Carol Gray)

All of us are smarter than one of us, if you have a great birthday party tip please share!